not in this life

I noticed I've never liked sunday nights since NS. not even now when I get to book in on monday mornings. It's why I like to drink on a sunday night.. I've told myself before that I will not drink in sorrow. but thats a half lie.. Fact is I do.. I drink in loneliness inside, I drink in aversion of the things in my life. Sometimes it makes me forget, sometimes it makes me happier, Hell I love beer anyway. but always I return home late and feel worse altogether.

I find that to live in empty hope is always better than to live in ... fail

In a different world someplace, 21, coming on 22 year old me is somebody. he's got his own place near the city, not rich but mildly successful in what he does, has a decent day job and gigs for fun and xtra cash at night. Is single but not short on admirers and lady friends. A little taller, less pimples and over tanned damaged skin.

I could attribute almost all my downfalls to the establishment we all so love to hate.

I let my guard down. one fail too many.. what do I do now.. when can I get up...