worker at the window

So I came out of the shower just now, towel wrapped around my waist. Walked into my room and there I saw eye to eye with a bangala worker outside my window. (he was painting the walls around my window.) Taken aback, for a moment I swear my head was a total blank. like windows in blue screen mode. and even though music was playing in the background, I heard nothing but silence.

stunned and still in nothing but my towel, I sat down facing the window.. the bangala now seemed to be getting on with his own business. I closed the window and drew the curtain.. Man.. that was weird, and I was just about the drop my towel too.

shivers down my spine.

change your mind

I woke up this morning and decided that I wanna listen to some music. just sit here and do nothing but listen to music. So itunes up and I clicked on a random song, and this came up..

The video is crap, but it loads fast.

funny thing is, I've had this song for a long while now and I never listened to it. and now I have it playing over and over again.

I thought the first line sang was 'lazy days' but I thought that wouldn't make any sense.. so it's actually;

'racey days help me through the hopeless haze' the rest of it's here

damn I wish I could write stuff like that.

Big blue Elephant

Every tried not thinking of a big blue elephant? It's pretty hard.. and cause it's so big and blue, it's easy to picture it in your mind's eye. and just trying hard not to think of the big blue elephant is probably the worst way you can try to not think of the big blue elephant..

'I try la' most often said when we're uncertain of a task that's been handed to us. (I think bosses really hate to hear that) cause trying gets you no where.. yoda as well as your geeky boss would say 'do or do not ! , there is no try !'

the irony is that sometimes the harder you try the harder you'll crash into the wall of failure.

Trying to sleep is one such case,

as is trying to stay awake (in a boring lecture or smth)

trying not to think of the big blue elephant, we already know that doesn't work

trying to write.. sometimes I feel shitty and I try to write, the words just won't flow.

sometimes not trying at all is better.

but ultimately do or do not, the choice is yours.

feelings

how i feel bout feelings

Happiness should be celebrated and shared

Sadness, bottled up and cast into the ocean

anger, to be vented out on inanimate objects

and boredom, manifested into ideas that could change the world

excitement to be shouted out

embarrassments, laugh it off

loneliness to be fought

affection, cherished

and drunkenness, all of the above.

I just got back from my holiday. and while I still have a bad hangover I stepped into my home smiling from ear to ear. It was everything I needed in a short and sweet weekend getaway. cheers.

don't cross the line

I hate being deceptive, though I usually and stand to gain. I have a conscience and it keeps me awake at night. but when people cross the line first, I think its fine to do whatever it takes to win. it isn't murder if it's in the name of self defense.

Problem is, it is really hard to just go about your honest living especially times like these. Even so, if there was enough food to go around, someone's bound to get greedy. So anyway, one way or another some smart ass will realize he could use a kind man's heart as a stepping stone to get to what he wants easily. Face it we've all been guilty of that one way or another. Thing is you don't want to cross the line, cause everyone has brains, and more over every living thing has an instinct to defend itself when threatened.

The smart ones will get you back at where it hurts. even the dumb ones, they just might drag you down with them. It's like the domestic cats, you think they're little and harmless.. well you haven't got them mad yet.

So be a good person. never cross the line.

hope for better days

The recent streak of bad luck continues..

I had a little accident the other day, where my heel got caught by the massive iron gate in camp. I shouldn't be there in the first place.. but I was forced into covering duty for an injured personnel, how ironic.

Best thing is even though I'm injured and have the documents to prove it. I still have to do duty. life sucks (scream outrage!). and I thought, damn why didn't the gate just shatter my whole damn foot till I can't walk.. but it didn't, it just cause me lots of pain without an ounce of sympathy.

and now we're short on guards too.. which means I now have 2 duties and 1 rest day. compared to the 1 - 1 it really sucks.

but for all I know I will be posted out by the end of the month.. or maybe even next week. I just hope I get to go on holiday no matter the outcome.

in hope for better days I installed a countdown on my dashboard. 333 days left.