sundays

If I just got up from bed, I would have more than 16 hours more before I would have to leave for camp. but I just got home.. assuming I'd sleep 8 hours.. I'm left with 8.. which sucks really.

I know I've been through all these a hundred times over.. the book in blues.. the life of a stay-in-personnel/ trainee.. but circumstances have it that this time, It's much worst and I can't shake this feeling..

I've enjoyed too much of a good life, the sudden shift makes a huge difference.. and unlike now, I was more motivated and committed to training. -no distractions.. now I simply put on a motivated farce, with the believe that a positive attitude will make my days much more enjoyable thus passing by much quicker ..

and so I made a lot of friends quick.. only to hope they can fill the void in me.. I've dug myself into a hole again, this time making a home inside. I feel so stupid at times, but mostly I just feel so lost..

sundays used to be such odd days.. I could choose to stay home and wallow in my sadness, and be comforted that when I book in I'll still feel the same degree of sadness (which means things can only get better after) Or I could choose to pursue fun and happiness, knowing that later I will end up missing so dearly what I had (and quite possibly spiral into despair)..

I finally understood the rational of people who depart without saying goodbyes. needless to say, we'll be back anyway. It's just a matter of time.