numb

It might have been awhile since I blogged. nah, I actually drafted one awhile ago, I just didn't publish.. It hasn't been a very good start of the new year for me.

and you know what, forget about the be happy, be optimistic. I deserve to be sad (at least for today), so don't go on try cheer me up. Never mind that I can't get high, but I feel numb instead. Never mind that I know I won't be able to sleep as much as I would like to fall asleep for days.

what's f up is I'm still not feeling it. the sadness. It's cause I'm still optimistic. but there is no point to empty optimism, so bring on the misery. I want to be sad !@# throw in a little frustration too.. I got locked out and now I'm tired but I can't fall asleep.