What's the point.

I was contemplating on a current dilemma I was facing. ooc. I have a good chance of ooc-ing, and not by any false trickery or chao-genging.. question is what do I do now..

1. the upper management has issued a warning to a certain group of trainees, about 30 that they may face the chopping board.. I belong to that group. 

2. most people would be really scared and do whatever they can to stay (suck their dicks, beg whatever) but I really don't care.. I feel I didn't belong from the start anyway.. I've come to realize that everything here is a lie, and I wish not to be a part of it.

3. certain injuries have really been bothering me. and thing is they just won't give me a break. which gives me more reason to ooc. or they might just get worse until I self-destruct..

I suspect that I have been brainwashed.. despite how obvious and logical the answer to my dilemma is considering the circumstances, I'm faced with doubts.. what's the point of this.

perhaps I'm just waiting for some divine intervention.