the adolescent's paradox

It's the holidays now.. A time I used to look forward to in the past. Now I only hope it ends fast so that the little kids can go back to school and stop over populating the places I frequent..

Anyway.. I took the bus today, it was crowded with students. Yes, students in their uniforms. Mostly upper sec students from what I can tell.. they must have been called back by their school for wonderful holiday classes to prepare for exams.

They seem quite happy though. Happier than a man who has complete freedom (for now) and a decent sum to spend (also for now). I think it has something to do with the idea that the older you get the less happy you are.. or I could be suffering from a little depression.. maybe..

In the bus, I sat in front of a group of sec sch students.. My left ear piece was busted and I couldn't help but listen in on some of their conversation. (thats where I concluded that they seemed happy) Anyway, bits of memories came to me.. bittersweet.. If I could do it all again.. what would I change.. how would I do.. I'm not gonna be a cliche and say I wouldn't change a thing.. only happy people say that, and I'm not exactly a happy person right now. so many turns and drops, but I shan't say.

cause I know that we can only move forward.. It is unwise to think about what we can change about the past when there is so much more to change in the present.. To live without regret is to live in denial..

So to all everyone who isn't running short of youth yet.. don't ever let anyone tell you what you can't be. Don't ever let the fear of falling short of the mark stop you.. you get what I mean. and it's always good to get a head start, cause before you know it you'll be sitting here wondering. All my life, what have I done that I can truly be proud off..

Ah.. If only I knew better.. but I guess that's how I got here in the first place, by being a fool. I presume I still have a pretty long and hard life ahead. but you know what they say, you screw this one up, better luck next decade!